What is the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts

Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country. O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time.

When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses. The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. More jokes about: animal , beer , food , military. A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone.

More jokes about: animal , beer , men , phone , women. A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings.

He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs. That was a barbitchyouate. Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox? A: About eight beers. What kind of bagel can fly? A plane bagel. What do you call it when you mix alcohol and American literature? Tequila Mockingbird. My friend Billy Bob and I visited a place where you can stand in three states at once: Oklahoma, Kansas, and Missouri.

Billy Bob opened up and said that he was actually in a fourth state; crippling depression. What Donald Ducks drug of choice? Quack cocain. Scientists got bored of watching the earth spin so after 24 hours They called it a day. What concert costs just 45 cents? When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punch line is a parent. I want to share a Russian pun with you all but if no one likes it and it gets down-voted then so-v-iet.

Plastic Explosives. I thought my Haitian friend was finally going to show me zombies… but it was actually just 'some bees'. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

I just got my degree in Sky Diving. One liner tags: life , marriage , money , sarcastic My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy One liner tags: alcohol , men , sarcastic , sex , women One liner tags: attitude , love , money , political , puns Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?

When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court. One liner tags: God , puns , sport What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? A waist of time. One liner tags: beauty , puns , time , women